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Jokes
May 25, 2009 16:42:16 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 25, 2009 16:42:16 GMT 10
LOL!
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Jokes
May 25, 2009 20:27:45 GMT 10
Post by thewhiteviolin on May 25, 2009 20:27:45 GMT 10
Yo mama is so fat Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
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Jokes
May 25, 2009 20:36:17 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 25, 2009 20:36:17 GMT 10
LOL!
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 4:54:09 GMT 10
Post by HandOfDarkness444/The Blade on May 26, 2009 4:54:09 GMT 10
Yo mama so dumb she failed a survey
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Pretzel
The Rumor
Imouto of HandOfDarkness444
Posts: 433
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 11:37:10 GMT 10
Post by Pretzel on May 26, 2009 11:37:10 GMT 10
Yo mama so dumb she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 11:57:49 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 26, 2009 11:57:49 GMT 10
OMG! Thats a good one! I love those jokes!
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Pretzel
The Rumor
Imouto of HandOfDarkness444
Posts: 433
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 12:04:39 GMT 10
Post by Pretzel on May 26, 2009 12:04:39 GMT 10
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 13:06:13 GMT 10
Post by thewhiteviolin on May 26, 2009 13:06:13 GMT 10
i love yo mamma jokes they are soooooo funny hahahahahahahahahhahahahah!!!!
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Lissa Dragomir
The seance
Take nothing but photographs, leave nothing but footprints
Posts: 41
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 13:17:47 GMT 10
Post by Lissa Dragomir on May 26, 2009 13:17:47 GMT 10
yo mamma's glasses so thick when she looks at a map she sees people waving!!!! mwahaha
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 13:27:03 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on May 26, 2009 13:27:03 GMT 10
Yo mama's so fat that she's both sides of the rainbow
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 17:05:17 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 26, 2009 17:05:17 GMT 10
Hahaha!
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 19:57:26 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on May 26, 2009 19:57:26 GMT 10
Subject: Q: Who was this Jesus person anyway...
There are three good arguements that Jesus was black: 1. He called everyone "brother" 2. He liked gospel 3. He couldn't get a fair trial
There are three equally good arguements that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into his father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure that his mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God
There are also three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil
And there are three equally good arguments that Jesus was Californian:
1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
There are also three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married
2. He was always telling storys
3. He loved green pastures
But the most compelling evidence of all: three proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when he was dead, he had to get up because there was more work to do
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Jokes
May 26, 2009 19:59:24 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 26, 2009 19:59:24 GMT 10
LOL! Those are good!
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Jokes
May 27, 2009 13:12:40 GMT 10
Post by thewhiteviolin on May 27, 2009 13:12:40 GMT 10
i love jokes!!!
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Jokes
May 28, 2009 6:49:31 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 28, 2009 6:49:31 GMT 10
Same!
I even laugh at really lame jokes!!!
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Jokes
May 31, 2009 8:27:18 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on May 31, 2009 8:27:18 GMT 10
I have this neighbour who had somthing wrong with her and she had no idea what it was. So I told her to go to the local doctor. She goes there and tells the doctor what was wrong but he didn't have an idea what was wrong either so he left the woman in his office to get undresssed and put a robe on. The doctor reenters the office and says
"Listen, I am going to put my hand under the robe and place it on various parts of your body, and I want you to say 88"
He puts his hand on her back and the woman said
"88"
Feeling satisfied he puts his hand on her stomach and the woman said
"88"
Agian feeling satisfied the then puts his hand on her left breast and the woman said
"1,2,3,4,....."
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Jokes
May 31, 2009 12:26:17 GMT 10
Post by HandOfDarkness444/The Blade on May 31, 2009 12:26:17 GMT 10
They're building the Olympic stadium in London for the next Olympic games, and people are like "oh this is a waste of money" but i think you'll find that when it's built and running, it'll be one of the proudest moments of British history in 2013.
but come on, if you wanted to Rekindle English National pride for £9.2billion, you could've written "f*** off Germany" onto the moon.
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Jokes
May 31, 2009 13:16:31 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on May 31, 2009 13:16:31 GMT 10
LOL!
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Pretzel
The Rumor
Imouto of HandOfDarkness444
Posts: 433
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Jokes
Jun 1, 2009 10:59:00 GMT 10
Post by Pretzel on Jun 1, 2009 10:59:00 GMT 10
Good one Daz!! Back to the good old days when the RAF kicked Luftwaffe butt!!
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Jokes
Jun 2, 2009 15:31:05 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on Jun 2, 2009 15:31:05 GMT 10
Subject: Friday Humour
Some friends were sittng at a bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist." The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K., you know... Double Income, No Kids." The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know... Rich Urban, Biker." They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?" She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know... Wash, Iron, Fetch, Etc." A second gal answers their question before they even ask it: "B.I.T.C.H." "What exactly is a B.I.T.C.H.", they ask in unison "Babe In Total Control of Herself"
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Jokes
Jun 3, 2009 13:29:43 GMT 10
Post by silverfang91 on Jun 3, 2009 13:29:43 GMT 10
Q: What are they doing about the mysterious hole discovered at the Carefree Nudist Camp?
A: Nothing -- the police won't look into it.
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Jokes
Jun 3, 2009 13:31:44 GMT 10
Post by silverfang91 on Jun 3, 2009 13:31:44 GMT 10
A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink.
The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm pops out. After the next shot a torso pops out. After more shots, suddenly, he has a whole body.
The boy runs out of the bar and gets hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."
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Jokes
Jun 3, 2009 13:36:15 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on Jun 3, 2009 13:36:15 GMT 10
Subject: Understanding the IT Guy
To the Optimist the glass is half full To the Pessimist the glass is half empty To the the IT guy the glass is twice as big as it needs to be
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Jokes
Jun 3, 2009 13:36:20 GMT 10
Post by silverfang91 on Jun 3, 2009 13:36:20 GMT 10
I played clarinet in the marching band and I was fat, which was horrible because we used to sell these candy bars for the band so we could go on band trips at the end of the year. They would give us a huge box of candy bars at the beginning of the week. At the end of the week, I was like, 'Ma, look, yeah, can I have $50 bucks
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 7:23:09 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on Jun 4, 2009 7:23:09 GMT 10
Huh! With the claranet!
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 8:29:49 GMT 10
Post by silverfang91 on Jun 4, 2009 8:29:49 GMT 10
Honey, I Found Your Golf Ball
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.” “That’s when I made my big mistake.” “What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 8:38:01 GMT 10
Post by The Fear/Rukia on Jun 4, 2009 8:38:01 GMT 10
Subject: A Scientific breakthrough!
A major reserch institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium auses one reaction to take over five days to complete when it would normaly take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which half of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact governmentium's mass will actualy increece over time, since each reorganisation will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a cwetain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 9:34:42 GMT 10
Post by thewhiteviolin on Jun 4, 2009 9:34:42 GMT 10
hi
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 10:56:18 GMT 10
Post by silverfang91 on Jun 4, 2009 10:56:18 GMT 10
Home A Smart Business Plan
A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factor where he was just hired. The plant manufactures various latex products, and has a reputation for using cutting edge technology in their manufacturing process.
On one side of the building, the factory makes baby bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise, and the shift manager asks his tour guide what it’s doing. “As the rubber is being injected into the mold, it makes a hiss noise.” he says “The popping sound is from needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”
On the other side of the building, the two men look at the condom making machine. This machine makes a “hiss.. hiss… hiss-pop” sound during the manufacturing process. “Wait a second,” the future shift manager says, “I know what the hiss, hiss is… but what’s with the ‘pop’ noise every once in a while?”
“Oh, that hehe. It’s the same as the baby bottle nipple process.” says the guide… “It pokes a hole in every third condom.”
“But that can’t be good for the condoms!” the observant shift manager replied.
“Nah, but it’s really good for the baby bottle nipple business!”
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2009 10:59:05 GMT 10
Post by Whisper My Fairytale on Jun 4, 2009 10:59:05 GMT 10
LOL!
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